About the song
In the world of country music, Toby Keith has never been one to take himself too seriously. Known for his deep voice, witty lyrics, and a knack for storytelling, Keith has built a career on songs that range from the deeply patriotic to the unapologetically humorous. One of the best examples of the latter is his self-deprecating and delightfully offbeat tune, “Shitty Golfer.”
Now, let’s be clear—this is not your average country song about heartbreak or high school sweethearts. Instead, “Shitty Golfer” takes a swing (pun fully intended) at the all-too-relatable world of amateur golf. With its title alone, the song sets the tone for something both irreverent and honest. And in typical Toby Keith fashion, he hits the mark. This track is a comedic ode to every weekend warrior who laces up their spikes, grabs a cold beer, and heads to the fairway knowing full well they’re going to make a mess of the game—but has a hell of a time doing it.
What makes the song especially enjoyable for listeners, particularly those over a certain age, is its embrace of imperfection. Keith doesn’t try to pretend he’s any good—he admits right off the bat that he’s terrible, and that’s exactly what makes the song so charming. Whether you’ve hacked your way through 18 holes or just enjoy watching others do it badly, there’s something wonderfully relatable in the lyrics. It’s a reminder that sometimes, it’s not about being great at something—it’s about the fun you have trying.
Musically, “Shitty Golfer” keeps things laid-back, with a casual groove and easygoing acoustic instrumentation that gives it a back-porch feel. You can almost picture Toby sitting with his buddies after a particularly embarrassing round, swapping stories and laughing over a few cold ones. It’s not trying to be polished—it’s real, raw, and rooted in everyday experience.
In short, “Shitty Golfer” is a lighthearted gem in Toby Keith’s catalog. It’s a song that tips its hat to those of us who might not always shine on the course, but always show up with a grin and a good attitude. And really, isn’t that what the best country music is all about?
Video
Lyrics
I’m a shitty golfer, you can ask my wife
I’ve been out there hackin’ every day of my life
I got the shorts and all the plaid sweaters
That new Taylormade driver didn’t make me any better
Man, I hit ’em fast and I hit ’em thin
I roll ’em in the bunker’s man, I hit ’em again
Slice ’em in the bushes, crank ’em in a creek
I popped that sucker up and hooked it out in the street
Yeah, I’m 2-45 right down the middle
And I’ll miss a green, to the left just a little
Chili dip a wedge and put it all together
Hit that son of a bitch right up there in the leather
If you call that good and let me press on the side
You can put me down for a fight
Hey, I’m a shitty golfer, most of us are
But we carry our clubs in the back of our cars
What else you gonna do when you’re out of town?
And you need to waste a whole day and shoot another round
Man, I played Augusta and I played Pebble Beach
And one time at Sawgrass I shot 83
If I live long enough to be 88
I think I’ll celebrate it by shooting my age
Yeah, I’m 2-45 right down the middle
And I’ll miss a green, to the left just a little
Chili dip a wedge and put it all together
Hit that son of a bitch right up there in the leather
If you call that good and let me press on the side
You can put me down for a fight, oh yeah
You can put me down for a fight
